I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
