Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
