The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
