Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
