fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
