its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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