Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
