how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
