dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
