she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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