I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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