Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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