that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
