dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We're using joints as your birthday candles
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
