My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
