Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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