You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
