I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
