I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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