What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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