Small penises have feelings too.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
