Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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