After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
