i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
