I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
