i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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