what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
