just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
