Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
my poor anus
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
