Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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