I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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