ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
