the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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