Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
