Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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