"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
