Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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