I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
is wine microwaveable?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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