I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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