no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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