Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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