I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
