I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
