i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
