He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
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