remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
