Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize