Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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