did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
try to milk me bitch
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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