Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
