Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
