What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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