I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
