yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
