i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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