you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
