It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
