She went from zero to smokin in five shots
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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