Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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