I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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