Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
