I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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