We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize